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Performance Anxiety: How to be an Extrovert

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Stage fright can really ruin your good time, especially when you are the one on stage. 

The way your body starts acting of its own volition, the shakes, the squeaking voice, the dizziness are all very inconvenient to say the least.  It’s even worse when you realize your body isn’t going to do what you want it too and literally pull itself together. 

Then, you start to feel the panic.  That old familiar deer caught in the headlights sensation and the little voice that says, “I can’t, I just can’t.” 

It makes you want to run offstage and hide, because you have yet again, failed and yet again, embarrassed yourself over something that everyone else seems to be able to control.  Why can’t you just be normal?

All of us have the capacity for stage fright and anxiety, yet most people are able to deal with it effectively and amazingly some people are so extroverted that they don’t even feel nervous on stage. 

It’s possible to learn how to be more extroverted.  The key to being able to handle your stage fright is to embrace some of the qualities of your average extrovert.  It may not be possible to make the complete transformation from introvert to extrovert, but who really wants to change themselves that much?  Ideally, you’ll be teaching your mind and body that being in the public eye isn’t such a big deal and that you can even enjoy being on stage.

Start with Every Day Life
Most people, who develop stage fright, can also safely say that there are certain social situations which make them shy and uncomfortable.  This can be engaging in an active debate in the classroom, getting closer to a person you have an attraction too, or just socializing with new people. 

A good way to teach yourself the self-confidence that is necessary to effectively deal with stage fright is to take on a few of these day-to-day tasks that make you uncomfortable.

This is a type of Behavior Therapy called exposure.  You’ll gradually expose yourself to situations and conditions that make yourself uncomfortable.  This gives you a chance to get used to those sensations of anxiety and stage fright and learn how to manage them.  Plus you’ll be able to institute a few relaxation techniques that I’ll describe to help quell those feelings so you can be an extrovert on your own terms.

Start by identifying one social situation that makes you nervous such as speaking up in a group or a class.  Then assign yourself some homework based on this problem.  The homework should be as specific as possible, so there is no question that you are making progress. 

For example, tell yourself that you will speak up in your group two times the next time you meet.  In a classroom setting this would involve raising your hand when a teacher asks a question.  Amongst your friends or co-workers this would involve jumping into the conversation twice in one meeting. 

This is a simple enough task and once you achieve it you can evaluate how difficult or easy it was and set yourself another task or just keep speaking up until it comes naturally.  You are the only person who knows how badly your stage fright and anxiety affects you.   You may be perfectly fine elsewhere in life and only have trouble when on that stage.  So tailor your assignments to public speaking.

Get On that Stage!
Once you’ve begun practicing more extroverted behavior in front of friends, co-workers and family now is the time to apply your progress to the stage.  Remember this all depends on where your level of discomfort lies.  You may feel the panic just thinking about speaking in front of a group. 

Whenever you start to feel the panic coming on take some slow, deep breathes and remind yourself that you are in charge of your life and are the one making the decision to speak in front of a group.  As such you are helping yourself by relaxing and finding calm.  This can help you when on stage, off stage or anywhere you start to feel nervous about being the center of attention. 

In any situation where you will be onstage it’s a good idea to practice first.  This is also a great way to practice the steps you’ll be taking to keep yourself calm in case of stage fright.  If you are going to be in a play, then you’ll naturally be practicing amongst your peers and the others who will be in the play.  This can help a great deal.

If you are going to give a speech then you’ll need to find a way to start practicing in front of people.  Now, it may seem silly, buy you can set up mini reading sessions with your friends and family.    Try to make the session as realistic as possible.  Dress up in the clothes you plan on wearing.  Give yourself a podium to read behind and have the mini audience sit before you. 

Even if you can’t practice with other people there are good ways to be more prepared by reading in front of a mirror.  Act as if you were reading to the audience.  Dress up.  Read exactly what you had planned on reading. 

Another great way to get used to just being in the front of the room is to literally go to where you’ll be giving your speech and practice reading to an empty house.  Once you are relaxed and comfortable with your place in the room, you’ll be much calmer on stage.  Plus, fewer worries about falling when you walk up the stairs or across the stage since you’ll know the area well.

A big part of being more extroverted is just playing the part beforehand.  By doing this you’ll be helping yourself out a lot. 

Quell the Fear, the Anxiety, the Stage Fright
The more you do your homework and the more you prepare for your big onstage event the less likely you are to succumb to stage fright.  It’s just a natural result of the effort put into practicing the part.  If you know the material very well and the space very well then you’ll be able to rattle the information off.  Yet, another part of looking the part of an extrovert when you are onstage is good body language and how well you read or speak. 

The homework involving uncomfortable situations will help you recognize the sensations of stage fright and anxiety coming on.  Plus you’ll have already (hopefully) practiced the relaxation techniques that are described below and know how well they work for you.  In addition, you’ll know that the feelings do pass after a few minutes if you stick it through to the end. 

A couple of good relaxation techniques can also help you quell those feelings of stage fright and anxiety that do come on.

The symptoms…
First, understand that the sensations you experience are temporary and they will pass in a few minutes.  Even the most nerve wracking physical symptoms will pass and you’ll be able to go on to give a fantastic performance.

It’s also important to realize that your physical symptoms of nervousness and anxiety will not progress into panic unless you let them.  Just keep breathing and push through them until you find that calm zone. 

Also, people will not think you are stupid, weak or embarrassing if some of your physical symptoms are visible to the audience.  If you blush that’s perfectly fine.  If you stutter or trip over a couple of words that’s perfectly fine.  If you shake a little that’s perfectly fine.  We all realize that being in front of a group can be a bit difficult, even extroverts experience some symptoms of anxiety and stage fright.  They just don’t let it progress into panic.  Here are a few techniques to practice:

The Techniques…

• Find an object that you own with some personal meaning for you.  This can be a broach or even a pencil.  Something that is interesting to look at can be helpful.  In the moments before you go onstage take out this object and focus on it intensely.  Try to block out what’s going on around you and stare only at the object.  Notice everything about it.  Breathe slowly and shallowly.
  
  
• Take a moment before you go onstage to meditate.  Close your eyes.  Let your breathing be slow and relaxed.  Pay attention to how your chest and stomach move as you breathe.  As you exhale say the word, “Calm”.  Repeat this until you feel very calm.
  
  
• When you are speaking to the group try to imagine everyone in the crowd as just one person.  This can help to reduce your stress, by reducing your impression of the number of people in the room.  Plus it also helps you feel more personable with your audience leading to a better performance.
  
• Use pressure points to relieve some of the stress and anxiety.  Use the flat side of your thumb to massage the center of your open palm.  You can also press your finger against the center of your chin or in the cleft between your nose and your mouth.  All three are pressure points that can relieve tension, anxiety and help you to feel calmer.

Hopefully you’ll be able to use these techniques and the suggested preparations to become more extroverted and start to enjoy those public speaking engagements.  If nothing else you’ll find that you can control some of the feelings of anxiety and stage fright that you’ve been feeling.

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